Whew. I tried on wedding dresses for the first time yesterday. Was I supposed to cry out of joy or a feeling of accomplishment or something? Because I didn't. I mean, don't get me wrong... it was awesome -- I heart trying on dresses, especially when you get your own little room and someone to help you... but I didn't, like, freak out.
Okay, for one, I think I didn't get all teary because I was too busy being totally embarrassed that I had to be in my underwear in front of the co-workers that I brought with me. I don't know why I thought they'd bring me into a different room to do the whole undressing thing... but, they didn't. There I was practically nekkid in front of these girls that I don't really know well enough to be nekkid in front of. Oops.
But, the other, probably more important reason that I didn't get all shmoopy is that, unlike many, I never really thought about getting married when I was a little girl. In fact, I didn't think about it until I got engaged. So, this whole wedding thing... although totally awesome and fun and exciting, doesn't feel like the fulfillment of some long-standing dream that I've had ever since I watched Cinderella at at three.
As a little kid I was absolutely a princess... I went through a period during which I would not leave the house unless I was wearing my frilliest dress and my ruffle-y underwear. I played "shopping' on the playground in fifth and sixth grade. That was a game in which my friends and I made fake credit cards and went fake shopping by the monkey bars. I mean... I was a girly, girly, girl. But weddings just never did it for me. I think that was because of the adults I happened to have in my life: my parents are divorced. All my mom's friend are lesbians (as are six of my aunts), my straight aunts, although they've been with their partners for decades, just never saw the need to get married to them. Marriage and weddings just weren't really a big deal in my family. In fact, I think my family is a little shocked that I'm doing it. They don't quite know how to act.
I think I'm probably the only lesbian out there whose family is shocked that I'm getting married because they're so pro-gay that they're anti-marriage instead of the other way around.
Anyway, I'm headed up to NYC to do some more wedding dress shopping with my best friend and maid of honor. Here's hoping the perfect dress falls out of the sky, costing but a mere $50, perfectly altered to fit my body (how it will look next August). Fingers crossed.
Oh... All the dresses pictured here are Pricilla of Boston Reception Dresses... I'm really leaning towards wearing a reception dress for the whole damn thing... thoughts?