Monday, September 29, 2008

A Grrrl with a Pearl

Ring trouble.

So... when we got engaged, I was absolutely sure that I didn't want a diamond. The history of diamonds is just too messed up. I know it's totally possible to get conflict-free diamonds so I wouldn't have to feel like I was wearing some poor kid's blood on my hand, but I was still annoyed by the fact that diamonds are artificially and astronomically priced and they don't actually lay claim to any real historical connection to engagements. They only became popular as an engagement gift in the 1920s when De Beers started an engagement ring campaign. I didn't want to feel like I had been duped by marketing executives from decades ago into throwing my money away (my fiance's money is my money -- we've already had a joint checking account for years).

So before the proposal, I let my soon-to-be fiance know that I was not to have a diamond -- no way, no how. So she proposed with the perfect ring... a pearl ring. Pearls have an actual claim to history. They were the traditional engagement gift in several European traditions and they're lovely. I love the ring, I love the sentiment, I love everything about the whole thing... except that the dang thing keeps falling apart!!!!!

I guess it's really difficult to set a pearl on a ring -- since it's round it can't be trapped inside the the claws of platinum that clasp in diamonds and so my pearl is screwed onto my ring and keeps getting unscrewed. I've now had to super-glue the damn thing back together again several times and I'm starting to feel a little silly -- like I've got some fisher price toy ring. Like I'm playing engagement with my playgroup after preschool.

I still don't regret the diamond decision. I feel good about my reasons -- but I do feel a little silly.


Pink Lady Kathleen said...

I really really like how you chose to go with a pearl for your engagement ring. I too wouldn't want a diamond because of their dark past. And I think your ring is gorgeous!! I know my mom has a pearl on her engagement ring, but for the exact same reason, she can't wear the ring. So it's sitting in her jewelry box at home. If you find a great solution for this, let me know. I know that she would love to be able to wear it.

Ms. Grrrl said...

I'm so happy to hear about you mom's ring. I like not being the only one!

If I find the perfect solution to the pearl ring problem... I'll definitely send it your way.

Anonymous said...

I think you just gotta find the right jeweller. I had the wrong jeweller for a while and then i found the right one and it was glorious. Get professional help!

Ms. Grrrl said...

Oh, I need professional help on a lot of levels!